Kay Maender

Kay Carroll (Fix) Maender, born August 17, 1940, in Buffalo, NY, passed away peacefully on July 11, 2025 after a life devoted to her husband and family, her work, and the causes she believed in. She left behind a legacy defined by integrity, loyalty, responsibility, and love that ran deep.

The eldest of three children born to Darwin E. and Mildred R. (Boblett) Fix, Kay grew up in Derby, NY, (just southwest of Buffalo NY) where, at a young age, she was given the duty of caring for her younger siblings so her parents could work. Even from such an early age, Kay displayed the strength, attention to detail, and sense of duty that would shape the rest of her life—always looking out for those she loved with an unyielding sense of protection that never faded. Kay was deeply proud and nostalgic about where she grew up. She always loved Lake Erie and being near the water. She, along with her brother and sister, often enjoyed swimming in Lake Erie as children, creating lasting memories of carefree days in the water. Kay also cherished the Buffalo area’s culinary traditions, especially Friday fish frys and Beef on Weck—foods she insisted could never quite be replicated anywhere else. In addition, her favorite kind of weather reflected the climate of her Western New York upbringing—cool, breezy days with low humidity and temperatures in the 70s. She fondly referred to this as a "Derby Day," a perfect nod to the town where she grew up, the kind of day that always brought her peace and contentment, and a reminder of the place that shaped her values and spirit.

Kay graduated from Lakeshore Central High School in Angola, NY, in 1958, where she was a cheerleader and a strong student. She went on to study Chemistry at Rochester Institute of Technology (RIT), earning her associate degree. While at RIT, she met the love of her life, Otto Maender. They married in June 1963 and soon began a life filled with purpose, partnership, and commitment.

Together, they moved across the country as Otto pursued graduate degrees, and Kay applied her skills in analytical chemistry, assisting with scientific research at Iowa State University and the University of Georgia. After the birth of her first daughter in 1966, Kay continued to support Otto’s graduate studies and take care of her daughter at home. At that time, she also provided daycare for the children of other graduate students—always staying busy and contributing to her family in every way she could.

The young family then moved to Akron, Ohio in 1968, where Kay continued balancing work, family, and service with tireless dedication. After Kay and Otto welcomed their second daughter in 1970, Kay devoted herself fully to being a stay-at-home mom to her girls until both were of school age. In 1975, Kay began work as a lab technician performing blood analysis at Akron City Hospital during the swing shift opposite Otto’s daytime work schedule, which ensured her daughters were always supported by a parent at home. In 1980, she went on to join the Northeastern Ohio Universities College of Medicine (NEOUCOM) in Rootstown, OH, where she began her long tenure as a research associate. In this role, she contributed to studies on how the lungs respond to various forms of damage or distress—including new medications, diseases affecting other organs, and environmental contaminants. Her work in pulmonary research helped advance understanding of allergic and anaphylactic responses, supporting efforts to develop better ways to manage and understand the body’s reaction to allergens in an increasingly allergy-prone world. She remained at NEOUCOM for 20 years and was known for her precision, hard work, and unshakable loyalty to her colleagues and the mission of medical research. Over those two decades, she contributed to—or was a named author in—29 published scientific studies in the field of pulmonary physiology, which is a testament to her knowledge, commitment, and expertise.

In addition to her dedication to family and her professional work, Kay was deeply committed to her community. She was a Girl Scout Troop Leader (Troop 729!), PTA member, and tireless advocate for public education—canvassing door-to-door and making countless phone calls to help pass the local school levies. In a similar way, she raised money for organizations like the March of Dimes, believing in the power of grassroots action and education to improve lives. At her core, Kay felt that education was the key to human greatness—a vital path for people to reach their fullest potential. She desperately wanted all people to be educated, to understand the benefits of science, and to engage meaningfully with the world around them. She believed deeply in the importance of using and applying the lessons learned from scientific discovery to improve lives and create a better future for all.

As a person, Kay was a woman of action and principle—fiercely protective of her family, passionate about fairness, and never afraid to speak up when something felt wrong to her. If Kay saw an injustice, she addressed it head-on, believing people could always do better and challenging those around her to rise to their full potential. If you earned praise from Kay, you knew you had done something REALLY great! Her belief in doing the right thing, even when no one was watching, defined every chapter of her life. Kay showed her love through action—whether it was supporting her children and grandchildren’s academic and athletic pursuits, putting her all into work-related tasks, or taking pride in her immaculate home. She was a house-cleaning extraordinaire, a devoted sports fan (with definite and strong opinions on every team and play), and a champion of American-made products—long before that was popular. Kay was a diehard fan of the music of both Neil Diamond and ABBA, whose songs became the beloved soundtrack to many spring cleaning sessions shared with her daughters. Practical to the core, Kay was not overly sentimental when it came to possessions. She believed in keeping a tidy, efficient home and was the polar opposite of a hoarder. If her daughters were ever unsure about whether to hang on to something, they could count on her no-nonsense advice: “Just pitch it!”

Kay retired in 2000, when she and Otto fulfilled their dream of living by the ocean, settling on Seabrook Island near Charleston, SC. There, Kay poured her energy into new passions: serving on the island’s loggerhead turtle patrol, supporting her church community at John Wesley United Methodist Church, and teaching Bible study classes. She also traveled to the Galapagos Islands, Tahiti, Peru, Germany, and Egypt, and continued enjoying local excursions to learn more about nature, pastoral music at church, attending orchestral concerts and her grandchildren’s musical performances and athletic matches– whether in person or on video.

Active throughout her life, Kay played soccer in the 1980s, tennis well into her later years, and stayed fit with water aerobics. She also had a deep love for animals and a strong belief in their right to be cared for responsibly in the home or live freely in nature.

Kay’s love for her husband, Otto, was the foundation of her life. He was her everything—the steady partner with whom she shared 62 wonderful years. In their latest years together, when Otto was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease, Kay poured every ounce of her energy, intellect, and love into his care. She became his most passionate advocate, tirelessly seeking out emerging treatments and experimental medicines, always turning to science and hope until she could no longer. After Otto’s passing, Kay was impacted heavily by heartbreak. Like the turtle doves she admired as part of nature—known to grieve deeply when parted from their mate—she was plunged into an intense emotional loss and her spirit chose not to linger long in a world without Otto. True to form, Kay left this world as she lived in it—with determination, purpose, and fully in charge.

Kay Maender was a genuine, no-nonsense person who valued action over sentiment. She believed deeply in hard work, personal responsibility, and always doing things the right way. She showed her love not always through words or affection, but through her protective presence and the actions she took to care for those she loved. Kay’s legacy lives on in the family she loved and challenged to always strive for their best, the purposeful work she devoted herself to, and the unwavering example she set for all who knew her.

Kay is survived by her brother, William D. “Bill” (Joyce) Fix of Tarpon Springs, FL; her sister, Sandra L. “Sandy” Palmeter of Overland Park, KS; her daughters, Laura L. (Jeff) Lawson of Mooresville, IN, and Kara L. (Pete) Phillips of Clarksburg, MD; and her cherished grandchildren—David A. Lawson, Amanda L. Lawson, Peter O. Phillips, Kurt W. Phillips, Keanan C. Phillips, and Penn P. Phillips. She is also survived by her brother-in-law, Norman R. (JoAnn) Maender of Scotia, NY, and many beloved nieces and nephews; all who will carry her memory forward with affection and pride.

She was preceded in death by her parents, Darwin and Mildred Fix, her beloved husband Otto W. Maender, and her brother-in-law, Alan Palmeter.

In memory of Kay, please encourage caregivers of dementia patients you know to seek information and help through free in-person and virtual support groups for caregivers provided by the Alzheimer’s Association and Daughterhood.

A celebration of life ceremony will follow at a later date.